I Can't Sing, I Can't Dance . . .

Are you one of those huge music fans that would love to make a career in music, but you can't write songs, can't play a note on an instrument, can't sing, can't do anything that would even remotely give you the opportunity to have a career in music?

Guess what. You have options. Lots of options. Depending upon your skills and how hard you're willing to work, there are a number of ways you can get yourself backstage, and I don't just mean by being a groupie.

What are your strengths? What skills do you have? Know this before you begin looking for a way to get yourself involved in the music business.

Do you have good people skills, a strong sense of business, and you're not afraid to insinuate yourself? How about considering a career as a band manager or a booking agent. You'll have to get yourself out there, introduce yourself to people, make the rounds at local clubs . . . in short, make the contacts you'll need to be effective as a concert promoter, road manager, band manager, or music booking agent. Going to school for the gig won't hurt, but nothing will give you a  better chance to prove yourself than by getting the gigs that keep the band fed.

Are you a brute? Consider doing concert security at local concerts or even as a traveling concert security guard. You might even make the contacts in the course of doing your job that will get you a gig as head security for your favorite performer.

Culinary school graduates and chefs of all kinds have taken their cooking skills on the road as personal celebrity chefs. You may not have the musical chops, but what about cooking chops? Audition your cooking skills and provide some culinary chaos for your favorite band,

Then, of course, there's the road crew. Almost nothing gets you closer to the action. Let Jackson Browne's The Load-Out be your theme song as you travel from town to town with the band, set up the equipment, and tear it down when it's time to move on. You might even get some of the groupie overflow.

Have you gone to a recording engineer school? Got an ear for balancing sound and keeping the music mixed? Travel with the band as a sound engineer. As an added bonus, you'll have great seats every night.

These are just suggestions. A graphic designer can do CD covers, band posters, etc. If you write, maybe you can find a gig doing press releases or album liner notes. Hell, why not get permission to do an authorized biography? You can't just wait around for opportunities to happen. They're out there, waiting for you to grab them. Set some goals and pursue those goals until you get what you're after.